Paths Not Taken

And THIS folks is why Keith Olbermann IS and WILL ALWAYS be the FUCKING MAN!!!!

A verbal asswhipping at best:

DETROIT - Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, a one-time rising star and Detroit’s youngest elected leader, was charged Monday with perjury and other counts after sexually explicit text messages contradicted his sworn denials of an affair with a top aide.

Wayne County Prosecutor Kym Worthy also charged the popular yet polarizing 37-year-old mayor with obstruction of justice and misconduct in office.

Former Chief of Staff Christine Beatty, 37, who also denied under oath that she and Kilpatrick had a romantic relationship in 2002 and 2003, was charged with perjury and obstruction of justice.

“Some have suggested that the issues in this case are personal or private,” Worthy said. “Our investigation has clearly shown that public dollars were used, people’s lives were ruined, the justice system severely mocked and the public trust trampled on. … This case is about as far from being a private matter as one can get.”

The charges could signal the end of Kilpatrick’s six-year career as mayor of one of America’s largest cities.

Perjury is a felony, punishable by up to 15 years in prison. A felony conviction would mean Kilpatrick’s immediate expulsion from office under the Detroit City Charter. Calls for his resignation have surfaced since late January and the Detroit City Council asked him to step down last week.

Kilpatrick was to hold a noon news conference but had not yet appeared and his office and lawyers were not commenting. A message seeking comment from Beatty’s attorney, Jeffrey Morganroth, was not returned.

Kilpatrick has said he would not resign and last week said he expects to be vindicated when all aspects of the scandal are made public.

Worthy said she expected the mayor and Beatty to turn themselves in by 7 a.m. Tuesday.

Worthy began her investigation the day after the Free Press published excerpts of the embarrassing text messages in late January. The messages called into question testimony Kilpatrick and Beatty gave in a lawsuit filed by two police officers who alleged they were fired for investigating claims that the mayor used his security unit to cover up extramarital affairs.

In court, Kilpatrick and Beatty denied having an intimate relationship, but the text messages reveal that they carried on a flirty, sometimes sexually explicit dialogue about where to meet and how to conceal their trysts.

Kilpatrick is married with three children. Beatty was married at the time and has two children.

The city agreed to pay $8.4 million to the two officers and a third former officer who filed a separate lawsuit. Documents released last month showed Kilpatrick agreed to the settlement in an effort to keep the text messages from becoming public.

The text messages published by the Free Press revealed a romantic discourse.

“I’m madly in love with you,” Kilpatrick wrote on Oct. 3, 2002.

“I hope you feel that way for a long time,” Beatty replied. “In case you haven’t noticed, I am madly in love with you, too!”

Worthy filed eight counts against Kilpatrick and seven against Beatty.

Kilpatrick faces charges of conspiracy to obstruct justice, obstruction of justice, misconduct in office, perjury in a court proceeding and two counts of perjury other than in a court proceeding.

Beatty is charged with conspiracy to obstruct justice, obstruction of justice, two counts of perjury in a court proceeding and two counts of perjury other than in a court proceeding.

For Beatty, who attended high school with Kilpatrick and managed his campaigns for Michigan’s state House and the mayor’s office, the scandal forced her to resign.

City lawyers and Kilpatrick’s attorneys waged a futile legal battle to keep documents related to the lawsuit settlement and text messages from public eyes.

Calls for his resignation surfaced in late January from some city union leaders and Michigan Attorney General Mike Cox repeated that call.

Forrest Gump is in Africa? Hell, don’t you think it’s a little too fucking late to take an interest in your job?

I wonder what Forrest is thinking:

“What’s my destiny, Mama”?

“Lieutenant Dan. Ice cream”!!!

“I gotta save Bubba”!

” Now you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows. From that day on, if I was ever going somewhere, I was running”!

(yeah, bitch been running alright………been running for the past eight years and still managed to fuck shit up)

Moving right along…………………………….

Awww look, the gang’s all here. I wonder what they are thinking:

“That president of ours may be the stupidest son of a bitch I’ve ever seen, but damn he can write a damn good check”!

“Your boy’s… different, Miz Gump. His IQ’s 75. We do all the damn work”!

“I am living off the government tit! Sucking it dry! ”

*All quotes curtesy of the movie Forrest Gump*

Am I the poster child for attracting the simple and stupid? I had a visit from one of my young clients the other day. The very same girl I had to put into the Juvenile Justice System because she wasn't going to school and was violating her parole. (don't even ask) I've been Crystal's case manager since she was seventeen years old. When I met her she was already a mother. I went above and beyond for this girl until I came to realization that I couldn't change her, so I did the hardest thing I had ever had to do and that was to cut her off. Once I saw that she wasn't going to stop doing what she wanted and kept hanging around the same crowd and getting into trouble......she had to get a dose of tough love.

Months back I heard that she was pregnat again. I was hurt and pissed at the same time because eventhough I had cut her off she would come by the office every now and then to say hi. I remember one conversation she was talking about her new boyfriend, I asked if she was being careful and she told me that she was. I wanted to believe her but something inside me knew that she wasn't being truthful. So one day I'm in my office and Crystal comes in looking like who did it and why. She had her beautiful daughter with her and the child looked as if she hadn't had a bath in days, her hair was all over the place I was disgusted. My first impulse was to jump across my desk and beat the living shit out of Crystal, but I didn't feel like going to jail. Crystal had been intentionally avoiding me, I don't know if it was because she knew that I knew she was pregnant again or because she knew I was going to tear her a new ass.

Crystal: Hey Miss Erica. (smilin like a damn mule eatin briars)

Me: Dead silence and a *blank stare*

Crystal: Umm, I just wanted to let you know that you gonna be a auntie.

Me: *blank stare* Crystal I asked you a while back if you were using protection. What did you tell me?

Crystal: Well, he didn't have none.

Me: WHAT? So you mean to tell me, you laid your ass up with this son of a bitch and because he didn't have a rubber you went and had sex with him anyway? You can get any damn thing you want to get but you couldn't take your ass somewhere to buy rubbers? Hell, I offered you a box full. What did you do with those? (dammit, don't answer that).

Crystal: Well, I'm gonna be alright because my boyfriend got a job and I'm looking for a job.

Me: CRYSTAL, how the hell are you going to look for a job when you're pregnant? Who is going to hire you Crystal?

Me: You know what? I think it's in your best interest to leave my office now before I do or say something to make you cry. I am too hurt to even look at you right now. After everything I've done to help you.....you end up fucking it up. Just go ahead and leave.

Crystal left and I didn't hear from her again until just the other day. She came in with a beautiful baby boy in her arms.

Crystal: Miss Erica, I come by to show you my baby.

Me: Uh huh, cute.

Crystal: I also wanted to tell you that I'm gettin married in 2009.

Me: *blank stare* Ummmm are you marrying the baby's daddy?

Crystal: No, I got a new friend.

Jesus PLEASE take the fucking wheel!!!!!!

Me: Crystal, instead of getting married why don't you get your high school diploma and find a job to take care of your children?

Crystal: I don't feel like sitting in class all that time.

By this time Crystal's mother come boppin her big ass down the hall towards my office, stands in the doorway smiling from ear to ear.

Crystal's Mom: You heard the good news?

Damn, I want to bust that ass but this heffa is five times my size!

Me: What do you think about it? Can you honestly say that you are happy with the way your trainwreck of a daughter's life is leading?

Crystal's Mom: Well, that's her. If she wanna git married, she grown!

Cross eyed heffa!!!!! Your daughter's life is in shambles and you think it's cute?

Me: You take your damn daughter and ya'll get the hell out of my office. I can't take this mess anymore.

Even though I express tough love with Crystal..........she can still be saved. I may not be the one who could do it but I hope and pray that she comes around and realize what's important. I still love her but it hurts like hell and I can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.

<

First let me say that I have the utmost respect for my elders, I would never purposely disrespect them in any way shape or form.

BUT THIS BITCH HAD IT COMING!!

It gets kind of hectic this time of year because we receive funding from the government to assist the poor with heating and utility bills. I love helping people, it’s what I’m meant to do. The look on a client’s face after you’ve helped them is priceless. We get to help a lot of families in need and they are really great people. Then you get the people who think they are “entitled” to get help. (trust, there’s a huge difference) These are mostly young people with five and six children who are on disability to get a check, or they just don’t want to work or go to school….keep in mind our agency offers to pay for school and assist in helping them find employment. The resources are offered, we can’t force them to take advantage of it.

Anyway, I was in a damn good mood, nothing you could have done or said would have pissed me off, until I get this phone call:

EC: Good morning, how can I assist you?

Old Hag: You told me to call back today to see if I could get some funds!

EC: I’m sorry, you must have spoken to one of the other ladies, we’re booked up for this week so they must have told you to check back with us next Thursday ma’am.

Old Hag: Every goddamn time I call, ya’ll give me the same damn story. Ya’ll give funds to who the hell ya’ll want to give it to!

What the fuck, this heffa done lost her everlastin mind.

I understand that people get frustrated in times of need, God knows I do, but this old woman was off the damn chain. To make matters worse she’s one of our “regulars” who always expect to get a handout, not caring about the families who really need it.

EC: Ma’am let me check our computer to see how long it’s been since we last assisted you.

EC: Umm, ma’am we just helped you last month, I thought you said three years ago.

Old Hag: It don’t matta when the last damn time I was in there. I need my light bill paid, I got a disconnection notice.

EC: Ma’am how much is you’re bill?

Old Hag: $52 dollas.

***STARING LIKE A DEER CAUGHT IN HEADLIGHTS***

You mean to tell me, your old greasy ass gets nearly $1300 dollars a month and you can’t pay a damn $52 dollar light bill?

Anyway…………………

Old Hag: Some damn body gonna pay this goddamn bill cause they said they gonna cut me off tomorrow!

Old Hag: What yo name is?

EC: Erica

**CLICK**

No this cow didn’t just hang up on me? THIS COW JUST HUNG UP ON ME!

It was ok because I’m in a good mood. Right? Righhhhhttttt!

Phone rings again.

EC: This is Erica, how can I assist you?

Old Hag: IF MY MUTHA FUCKIN LIGHTS GET CUT OFF, YOU GONE BE THE BITCH I HOLD RESPONSIBLE!

**CLICK**

Now, I can handle being hung up on. Hell, I can handle being hung up on twice. But when you call me a bitch and that I would be responsible for a damn light bill your slack nasty greasy ass could have already paid………It’s about to be some shit, I don’t give a good goddamn how old your ass is. She was dumb enough to give me her name, so I went to look for her file from a month ago BINGO looky looky…….her phone number!

What? ya’ll thought I was going to let that shit go?

EC: Ma’am did you just call ______________________________?

Old Hag: Yeah!

EC: Let me explain one mutha fuckin thing to you. Don’t you EVER in your life call this office and commence to tell me what the fuck I will be held responsible for because you can’t get up off your ass and pay your bills like you suppose to. There are no children here and I didn’t appreciate being talked to as such. I know you didn’t expect for me to call you, but the only man I fear is GOD and God you’re not. So the next time you wanna call yourself threatening somebody, you better make damn sure it’s someone who’ll take that shit cause I AIN’T THE ONE!

AND I GOT YOUR BITCH!!!

By this time my boss walked in and heard me yelling. I told her what had happened and she took the phone. By that time I was highly pissed, the boss was trying to calm the lady down and I heard her tell the lady that she didn’t have to make a trip to the office. Hell, I walked right back to where my boss was and I told her to tell the lady to bring her ass to the office if she wanted to. She was big enough to talk shit, she’s big enough to face me like a damn woman. After my boss finished talking to the lady, she came to my office and told me that everything was taken care of and that I was right in what I did. (you think)!

I know some of you might think I was wrong in the way I handled this situation, but who gives a damn! If it happened to you, what would you have done?

This bumbling idiot be voted off the fucking island! This man has Forrest Gumped his way through eight years of doing absolutely NOTHING for this country. At least during Clinton’s term in office we had had far less problems than we do now. (thanks Monica, owe you one)! Lets see……….during Forrest’s time in office, he’s managed to:

1) Fuck Up.
2)Start a major war.
3)Send our troops over seas to be slaughtered.
4)Fuck Up.
5)Basically ignore the victims of Hurricane Katrina
6)Send his henchmen to do his dirty work (Cheney’s going around shooting his friends, while Condollezza nearly got her ass beat the other day)
7)Oh yeah…….fuck up.
8)Turn the White House into a breeding ground for pedophiles.
9)Continues this game of “hide and seek” with Osama Bin Laden.
10) Fuck UP.

Yeah Forrest is doin it up over there in the White House. In my opinion, I honestly think that poor Forrest has lost intrest in being Village Idiot. I don’t know how it got to this, maybe this could explain it. Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you….Tom Hank’s portrayal of George Bush in the movie Forrest Gump:

Ahhh fuck it, I’ m voting for Stephen Colbert!

Dear Paris,

I’m so sorry about you going back to jail. I understand how you feel, you were only driving with an suspended liscense and under the influence……It’s not like you KILLED anyone!………..YET right? I mean, your Paris Hilton for God sakes. It was wrong for that Judge to bring you back to jail! I thought you were home scott free after fucking that Sheriff into letting you go.

It just seems as though everyone is picking on you for no good reason. Like look on the bright side…….like if you were like, a black or hispanic girl, you would have served far more time!!

Of course you can’t blame your parents for spoiling you the way they have. Giving you everything your hearts desire and you not giving back anything in return. It’s not thier fault is it? You looked so helpless when they had to put you into the police car just kickin and screaming crying for your mother. I, like you, thought it was all over the other day when you were released, I can’t understand why your plan didn’t work the way you wanted.

They don’t understand our kind of people. Celebrities like us get what we want when we want! We buy our way out of such stupid things like…..going to jail for endangering people’s lives because we choose to intoxicate ourselves with drugs and liquor.

I so hate to think of you going into that place, like, what are you going to do without a stylist? What will you wear? Don’t worry, I’ll call up Oscar to see if he could design the perfect organge outfit. At least you’ll look better than those other girls. Have you spoken to Kimora, Lindsey, Brittney, or Nicole? They can fill you in on what it’ll be like once you get there.

Oh, whatever you do…..be careful! I don’t think that those girls are too nice. I hear they don’t take kindly to "our kind" of people.  Who knows, you might beat this for the second time……I did! As a matter of fact, I got off for way more than what you did. I killed my wife and look at me…….free as a bird!

Just goes to show that as Celebrities….we can beat any damn thing!!!!!!

Yours Truly,

OJ Simpson

Boo Hoo Hoo!!!!!!!

Why is it that some of our young girls just don’t get it? I got some disturbing news yesterday about a young client of mine who, at the age of 18 is now pregnant with her second child. I met her two years ago through her mother, who thought that I could mentor her. At the time, (I’ll call her Tina) was already a mother and was put into an adult school in hopes that she would get her high school diploma or GED. In our first meeting, she seemed to want to reach certain goals in her life. I told her that just because she has a child, that doesn’t mean that she has to give up the things that she wants to accomplish in life. She began to tell me about her life and the things that she wants her child to have that she didn’t. I got attached to Tina as if she was one of my children. I gave her pep talks, educated her on finding places to live, etc. I thought that I did everything to show this girl that someone was there for her…….a friend. Well, needless to say, she would pop up at my office looking a hot damn mess, asking for me to help her find employment or a place to stay because she and her mother were not getting along. I knew something was up because eventually she would come by the office asking for money, either she was hungry or she needed money for pampers or milk. I told her that I would take her to the store and get what she needed………but I was for damn sho not puting money in her hands so that she could give it to some stank ass no job gettin mother fucker who sits on his ass all day and not have the decency to better himself. Anyway….when the offer was made, she always came up with excuses to leave and I wouldn’t hear from her until she needed something or things wasn’t going her way.

After seeing that she wasn’t carrying out the plans she and I made for her future……..I had to cut her loose! She wasn’t being serious about her life or her health for that matter. Without her knowing, I kept close tabs on her just to make sure that she was at least ok. Well, her mother called me one day out of the blue saying that Tina has not been seen in a couple of days. So of course me being the super case worker that I am……I found out that she was having just a ghetto time down at Myrtle Beach with a couple of her buddies. At this point I was really pissed. All I could think of was that poor child she left behind to have some fun, so I called our local juvenile justice office. Come to find out this heifer was already on paroll for something she did a while back!!! (aint that some shit?) so I told the guy at juvenile justice where she was and that she was violating her paroll! This meant that they could go pick her up and send her ass right own to juvenile lock up three hours away for 90 days! (Aint I a stinker…..but it was for her own good)

When she came back, she seemed to have made a change for the better….until she began hanging around the old crowd and began to do the things that she used to do. She dropped in a few times just to check in and we would talk but it always ended in her needing some money, of which I was not giving. The visiting stopped a little after that, She knew that I was not falling for the shit that she was trying to pull. She didn’t really know how to take me, she has never had someone to face her like I did. If she wasn’t doin right…I’d give her a good cussing out, then turn around and tell her how much I loved her. (she seemed alittle confused by that)

When working with people like this, you have to show tough love! They are used to working the system and when they think that they have found a fool they will play on that to get whatever they need. Sad to say but true. I know your probably wondering where the mother and father is? The father is not in the picture, which sums up some of this girl’s actions. The mother does not have a high school education and has been working the system for years. I’ve offered to help her get her life together but she always said that she does not need a job because SSI and Social Security pays her every month! (what the fuck) She does not realize that her actions are a direct reflection of what her daughter is going through now. When I was told that Tina was pregnant again, all I could do was go somewhere and cry. It hurts my soul to see this young girl with so much potential just get swept into this vicious cycle that is welfare.

Eventhough I had to let go, I’ll still wait in the shadows hoping that she realizes that this is not the life she wants for her children, when that day comes…..I will he there for her. It saddens me that the child she already has is not getting the full care or attention that she so desperatly needs. I’ve often pondered the thought of actually getting the child and take care of her along with my girls but the grandmother will not let that happen because that would mean that she would be losing a monthly check.

My question is…how the hell you gon end up pregnant when you can’t even take care of the one you have? We’ve had conversation after conversation about this, but I guess it went in one ear and out the other! So now I don’t know what the hell she’s going to do. I know I won’t see her anytime soon because she knows that I’m going to let her have it. Yes, I will tear her a new ass hole because this whole situation could have been avoided. She may not want to hear what I have to say but I JUST DON’T GIVE A FUCK!! I’d rather let her know my true feelings about her actions rather than trying to identify her body laid out somewhere in a damn ditch!!!!! I’m sorry but thats the way I feel. I realize I can’t save every young troubled girl that I come across but I will damn sho try.

You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, in other words…….You can’t win for losing.