Paths Not Taken

Doretha Outen-Hooks, my beloved Guardian Angel and mother.
Sept. 17, 1945- April 8, 2001

Wishing Everyone a very Happy Mother’s Day!!

In the past couple of months I’ve seemed to have been wrapped up in the girl’s violin lessons; their band practices; and whatever it was that they had going on at the time. I’ve done this while working full time and attending college at night. In the next week I will begin a new job. Somewhere along the way I’ve seemed to have lost myself.

My life has been wrapped up entirley into taking care of my girls and seeing that they have what they need, but what do I need? Don’t get me wrong, I love my girls and I would lay down my life for them but I feel that something is missing. Lately I’ve been wondering what is my purpose. Being a mother is a great accomplishment for me, but I’ve seemed to have let it completely take over my life. I don’t know.

Maybe I just need to go somewhere and sit my ass down and take a breather. Yeah, I think that’s what I’ll do.

I haven’t posted pictures of the Glam Squad lately so, here goes:

Guess who’s going to be a cheerleader?

Guess who lost another tooth?

Guess who’s getting better and better at playing her violin?

Guess who leaves her old job on Friday to begin a new one and is itching to tell those heffas to kiss her ass, but knows that it would be very unprofessional?

Kate Bush/Peter Gabriel: Don’t Give Up

I know things are not going the way you’ve planned right now. Just keep your head up and know that I am with you.

-Peace and Blessings

In regards to race, I’m sorry to say that we have a lot more obsticles to cross. We are making progress but at a glacial pace. Dr. King’s message of racial harmony has yet to come into fruition the way he would have wanted. We still have a long way to go. His message is universal, not only meant for African Americans but for any race (such as the Native American Indians, who does not get the recognition that they are entitled and Jewish Americans)who sought out justice for the inhumane treatment and blood shed that was brought upon by predjudice.

I think that in the years since Dr. King’s assasination he has been viewed as the symbol of racial justice, but when asked to fully explain his (our) struggle and it’s complexity, we can’t go beyond “I have a dream”. This saddens me. Dr. King’s struggle goes above and beyond his most popular speech and this is what we should teach our children. We should teach them of the relationship he held with Mahatma Gandhi, Malcolm X, and his opposition towards the Vietnam war and the other causes he selfishly supported.

We are entering a new era and to honor Dr. King’s memory is sit down and educate our children (and ourselves) on the reality that hate (unfortunately) still exists and that the only way to fight it is through education and self awareness.

Dr. King began the struggle, it’s up to us to see it become a reality.

Martin Luther King/”Why I Am Opposed to the War in Vietnam”

It’s amazing how words from the past could resonate in the future!

For the past six years I have watched a man that I have the most profound love for deteriorate into someone who no longer has the will to live. He has given thirty-four years of his life and devotion to the only woman he had ever loved. Their love spoke a quiet truth. The Sunday morning ritual of dancing to Teddy Pendergrass are no more, but in his mind he relives it on a daily basis. He talks to her still and constant.

I couldn’t begin to understand how he feels because his love for her is on a higher level that I could possibly understand. They shared a history, a love, and five children. When she was diagnosed with Mutiple Sclerosis he watched his once beautiful red head succomb to the harsh reality that her sickness yielded. For sixteen years he held her hand during the relapes, remissions, spasms, and then death.

You have to have that understanding that the love a child has for his/her mother pales in comparison to the love shared between that of a husband and wife. Most of his sixty-three years was spent loving and caring for his wife, he knew of nothing else.

I’ve watched him become an alcoholic and it angers me and breaks my heart all at the same time, but my love for him is and will always be unconditional. I’ve heard people tell him that he needs to get out and meet new people. Maybe that would probably help. His reply: “No one will take the place of my wife”!

If that’s not loving unconditionally, I don’t know what is. Would I like for him to find a nice person to spend the rest of his days with…..sure I would, has there been women who have tried to get close to him………yes, but there are some things that you just can’t force on someone if it’s not wanted. He’s not ready to let my mom go and I respect him for that. I want him to understand that eventhough she’s gone, she’s not forgotten and that she is still with him. She would want him to be happy. I guess from his point of view, that would be easier said than done.

Kate Bush/This woman’s Work:

The timeless Manheim Steamroller/God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman

Toto Featuring Michael McDonald/I’ll Be Over You

Toto/Africa

Oleta Adams/Get Here

-To finding forever

Latasha Norman, who is black, was last seen Nov. 13 in one of her classes at Jackson State University. Her car was left on the campus, and the 20-year-old never returned to her dormitory room.

The 20-year-old accounting major from Greenville, Miss., is of medium-brown complexion, stands approximately 5 feet 2 inches tall and weighs between 115 and 120 pounds. She was last seen wearing a white shirt and blue jeans.

To report information regarding Norman’s whereabouts, call the Jackson State University Department of Public Safety at 601-979-2580 or the City of Jackson Police Department’s Missing Person Bureau at 601-960-1210.

Me and Tracy

No words can express the love and loyalty I have for this woman. We’ve been best friends since the third grade and I couldn’t have asked for a better friend. She’s my counselor, confidant, and my conscience. We have been through a lot together and I don’t think I could ever repay her for what she’s contributed to my life. She’s been there at the birth of my first child and the death of my mother, two of the many important events in my life.

So, thank you for being who you are and giving me twenty six years of your honesty and friendship, and who would have thought our daughters would one day become best friends? I guess this is the next generation of yet another fabulous friendship.

My daughter Morgan & Tracy’s daughter Ciara

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEFFA!!!!!!