Paths Not Taken

Happy 8th Birthday my little angel!

Today you are 13 years old,”officially” a teenager. I’ve said in the past that I couldn’t wait for this, a time when we could be as close as ever. I’d finally have a little mini me. We’d have those girl talks, exchange clothes, and I’d teach you how to wear make-up. This was my fantasy.

The reality is, we don’t talk much anymore and we’ve been in constant battles about your sometimes nasty disposition and you wanting to do and go places where I strongly object. I see you morphing into a beautiful young woman, my first born. I’m finding it hard to let go. I used to look at you with awe, that huge smile and those big beautiful eyes. Now when I look at you and how nature has gladly blessed you with her graces and left my 34 year old ass out the loop, It makes me want to lock you in your room until you’re 30.

Now, instead of having a little mini me, exchanging clothing, and teaching you how to wear make-up, My priorities and hopes have changed for you. My reality is for you to become the best person that you can be. I want you to learn who you are and to stand up for your beliefs. I know that I’ve always talked about you attending Spelman when you graduate in 6 years, but I don’t care where you go to college Morgan, as long as it was instilled in you at such an early age that college is a must.

I know this is just the beginning, and I definately know that I haven’t seen anything yet. Sixteen is creeping up slowly but surely. I understand that you want things, eventhough you’re blessed to get basically whatever you want…………except a cell phone. I’ve agonized over this for some time now and I haven’t come to a conclusion yet. We’ll see.

Somewhere down the road (waaaaayyy down the road), you’ll want to recieve calls from boys and want to date, in which, I’ll get the two deer rifles and the chasity belt ready! I might as well throw down a few rules before hand:

*If the little bastard can’t come to the door and ask for you with respect…………….you will leave his ass out the door. If you walk out and meet him,
this could result in bodlily harm both to YOU and him. (thought I would just put that out there)

*NO GRILL

*NO JUVIE RECORD

*If he says “um”, “you know I’m sayin”, “you feel me”, “yo”, when speaking to me………….AUTOMATIC ASS WHOPPIN!

*I don’t need to say anything about pants down to the knees. I’m not going there with you!

There’s so much more Morgan. I guess I want you to know that I want what’s best for you and to have the opportunity to take advantage of what life has in store for you. I know you’ve asked me why can’t we be friends like your little girlfriends and their mothers.

My answer:

I didn’t go through hours of labor to “be your friend”! That’s not what I’m here for. I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND! I’m here to give you the realities of life without sugar coating it. Life will not always have happy endings. I pray each day that it will for you, but you will be faced with many challenges throughout your life and I will not always be there. Being your mother is more important to me than being a friend to you at this stage of your life.

Just know that I try to protect you, you may not understand it at this point in your life, but as you mature and get older, you will understand.

So take the jack-ups and punishments as a sign of love. The kind of love that’s never ends and could continue until you’re 30 if you keep it up with the eye rolling and nasty dispositions.

Morgan, you are my life and I have more love for you than my heart can hold. Through our many arguments, please know that you are and will always be loved.

-Your Mother

Being gay is not in any way shape or form an accessory you think you could throw on at will. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again that no one in their right minds would wake up one day and have the sudden epiphany wanting to be gay, Knowing the ridicule, harassment, and hatred that comes along with it.

Hate crimes towards gays, especially gay teens are becoming more frequent and deadly. 13% of the nation’s hate crimes are targeted toward gays and lesbians. Hate crimes among gay teens is becoming more rampant and brutal. n The above photo is of 15 year old Lawrence King. Lawrence was an 8th grade Jr. High School student who was shot to death in his computer lab classroom by a fellow student because he was gay.

Could this sensless and brutal murder havebeen prevented? I don’t think so, but for those of us who are parents it is up to us to teach our children tolerance and respect for those who don’t share the same views.

As a parent, if one of the members of the Glam Squad came out to me at such an early age, it would be my job to sit them down and discuss the realities of what it means to be openly gay. You have to be honest about what your child is going to encounter once their out. The negatives being that they are going to be called names, bullied, stereotyped, or worse. Let them know that it’s ok to be who you are but at the same time be honest enough to let them know that there are going to be people, even family members who won’t share the same sentiment.

I would make sure that they are prepared for what’s lies ahead, both the positives and the negatives. We can’t continue to lose our children to senseless and brutal crimes to those who are not willing to understand the misunderstood.

Free at Last

( North american Slaves Spiritual Chant Gospel )

Julia Yasuda :

Way down yonder in the graveyard walk
I thank God I’m free at last
Me and my Jesus going to meet and talk
I thank God I’m free at last

On my knees when the light pass’d by
I thank God I’m free at last
Tho’t my soul would rise and fly
I thank God I’m free at last

Some of these mornings, bright and fair
I thank God I’m free at last
Goin’ meet my Jesus
In the middle of the air
I thank God I’m free at last

Lyrics: Antony and the Johnsons

Yesterday I took the Glam Squad and my nephew to see Batman The Dark Knight. I have to admit that I was somewhat skeptical about seeing the movie, especially with the sudden death of Heath Ledger (the Joker) on January 22, 2008. Apart from wanting to see Heath Ledger’s last movie, I wanted to see how Christian Bale (Batman) would handle this role. I found his performance to be lackluster. He wasn’t as convincing as Michael Keaton in the first Batman movie back in 1989.

I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised to see the ever handsome and ageless Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman as Alfred and Lucius Fox.

Ok, on to the good part! HEATH LEDGER KICKED ASS with this role. Imagine Hannibal Lector, Ed Gein, and Jeffrey Dahmer rolled into one, or better yet………………..serial killer John Wayne Gacy:

Ledger stole the entire movie. I was so into the Joker that I totally forgot about Batman. From the beginning the Joker caught you not only with the clown make up and greasy green hair, but with pure insanity. If you’ve seen the movie you probably would agree that Ledger did his research before filming this movie. His charactor was insainly dark. Jack Nicholson’s role as the Joker couldn’t hold a candle to Heath Ledger’s performance.

Case and point:

The Joker in a nurses uniform!

Great movie! If you haven’t seen it yet or is planning too, I strongly suggest it. Just prepare to sit for nearly 3 hours. It’s long as hell but worth every second of it. Here’s a teaser:

I LOVE this movie! Brings back a hell of a lot of memories:

Mary Stuart Masterson and Eric Stoltz in Some Kind of Wonderful. At 34, I still cry when I see the ending:

Who could forget Pretty in Pink:

I love Duckie!

And of course St. Elmo’s Fire:

I know I haven’t been updating like I used to. I’ve had a lot of things going on. The new job, the girls, school, and a lot of other things has been consuming me. Ridi told me that I need to update, so I’ll try and do a lot better.

Anyway, have you ever wondered what it would be like to be invisible and find that one person in high school that did you wrong and commence to whippin their asses? Don’t sit there and act as if you don’t because we’ve all thought about it. There was this one girl whose ass I would would tear out the frame if I ever saw her again. She was the cause of my best friend Tracy and I not speaking for a very long time. Everything is cool know and has been for years. The one thing I am and that’s loyal to my friends, and when someone tries to take advantage of that………..well, that’s when my alter ego Julia Sugarbaker steps in.

Am I the only person who thinks that Wal-Mart’s choice in music retail SUCKS! I mean seriously. At least hire some damn people who has that passion love for music. After taking the Glam Squad to the movies yesterday, they wanted to stop by and check out some music. ***By the way, who the hell is Plies?*** The eldest of the GS has been asking me to buy her this cd. All I know it’s some type of rap. I particulary don’t listen to rap (except for Common and RUN DMC) if you guys know who this is and if it’s a cd for a 12 year old….let me know!

Anyway, I hate that I have to resort to Wal-Mart for my music, but it’s convenient. I usually order my music from the web, but I was there anyway and what the hell, I’ll get while the gettins good. Ok, so I was looking for Adele’s new cd. I asked the girl if they carried it and if not, when. She said that she hadn’t heard of Adele and that if they had it it would be with the “new music”. Well damn, I figured that much. So I asked her if they had the new Weezer cd. She looked kind of annoyed (like I gave a damn) and said “who”? I said Weezer, this heffa looked me up and down and said “we don’t carry that kind of music” Ya’ll she almost got her ass whipped. I asked what she meant by “that kind of music”. She said that she never heard of Weezer and if they had it she would know because she “listens to all kinds of music” (Jesus take the wheel). I told her that I too listen to all types of music and if she didn’t know who Weezer was, she had no business working in the “music” (and I say that loosley) department, and walked away.

The middle member of the GS walks up to me and hands me this:

Well looky looky! It’s WEEZER’S new cd. Gotta love that kid! While plotting my revenge as only I could, I gathered some more cds:

*ColdPlay’s Viva La Vida

*Beck’s Modern Guilt

*Lalah Hathaway’s Self Portrait

I walked up to the girl’s register and laid the cd’s down, making sure that Weezer’s cd was the last. When she got to it she picked it up; looked at it; looked at me (of course I had that sarcastic smile luminating) when the middle member of the GS stole my damn thunder and told the girl, and I quote:

GS: “Momma, can I work at Wal-Mart, because she don’t know what kind of music they have.

GS: “Ms. I thought you told my momma they didn’t have Weezer”

I didn’t say a word. Damn, I love the Glam Squad!!!!

That’s all I have to ramble about for now people. I’ll have something for you tomorrow…………….maybe!

The middle member of the Glam Squad has entered womanhood at the fucking age of nine! See, this shit may be funny to some you but I’ll be damned if it is for me. She’s growing and becoming quit the little lady. This may sound a little selfish but I’m not ready for my babies to grow up. The oldest will be 13 this month, along with the baby who will be 8. I might as well committ myself. I hear Shady Rest has a couple of openings.

You really haven’t seen anything yet though! Wait until the last of the Glam Squad reach this milestone. It won’t be pretty.

As a mother, you tend to think that your babies will always stay the sweet little angels that they are. Then they grow up and you see little changes here and there. Truth is, I’m not ready to let go.

Dammit!

Ok, so I was asked to do make-up for a wedding last week. The bride to be called me up saying that she really wanted someone to do her wedding and that she heard about me from a bride I did a couple of weeks earlier. While we were talking I asked her specific questions about what she wanted so that I could get a better idea of what make-up to use. We decided on a consultation that following Thursday before her wedding that weekend. I got off of work and headed straight to her house, made her up and gave her my price. She liked what I did and accepted. My price included me getting there early enough to make her up before she walked down the isle and before she took pictures. It was hot as hell and I knew she would need A LOT of touch ups, so before the reception I gave her the last touch up and everything was fine. The two junior members of the Glam Squad were there with me and we ate and had a little fun. Well, when we got ready to leave I walked up to the bride and congradulated her on how beautiful she and the wedding was………………………here’s when the shit hit the fan:

Me: I’m leaving now, you had a beautiful wedding and you looked great.

Bride: Thank you for everything you did.

*Me still standing there* The heffa knew what I was waiting on.

Husband: Thank you so much for what you did, you made her look beautiful.

Me: Thank you. I’m about to leave.

*This heffa is still looking at me as if she sincerely thought that I wouldn’t ask for my damn money*

Me trying to be polite: Do you have the money for the make-up?

Bride: Oh, umm I left my purse at the house and I was wondering if I could pay you on Monday. I’ll bring it by your job.

I politely leaned over and told her that that would not do. I provided a service and I want my money! Now at this point, I was ready to show my black ass. Don’t you know this chick miraculously “found” my money? I sincerely think that this chick thought that she would shit her way out of paying for services rendered.

Needless to say, I got my damn money and TRUST their will be contracts on the horizen. I should have known something like this was going to happen when I saw the “Betty Boop” tattoo this chick had on chest!

My people my people!!!!