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I am currently in a state of shock in it’s purest form. What I saw tonight nearly sent me into a coma. The youngest members of the Glam Squad was taking their nightly bath together just having a ball. Well, it got to be a little too much because I was concentrating on work I brought home from the office. As I’m walking down the hall with the sole purpose of “regulating” I entered the bathroom, pulled the shower curtain back and nearly caught a damn conniption. The middle member of the Glam Squad is beginning to mature in all the wrong goddamn places!!! What the hell! This child is only eight years old. Hell, I didn’t have that much at seventeen. (shut up Tracy).
You would think that after having seen the oldest member of the Glam Squad blossom into full on puberty, age twelve with the body of a sixteen year old I would be ready for the other two………….WRONG!
This is my baby. My second child. My voilin playing, honor roll student, fashion savy diva, music lovin middle baby. I just can’t take it. I’m already having problems with young punks thinking I’m my oldest daughter’s sister. Imagine rollin through the mall in a couple of years when all three have fully matured? I guess I’ll just have to get three pistals and have each of the girl’s names engraved on the handle and what ever punk comes callin, I’ll politely ask who the hell he came to see and what ever name he gives……….that’s the damn gun he’s going to get his ass capped with.
With all of the problems our young girls are having now, teenage pregancy, STDs, peer pressure, etc., it’s so important that we teach them all that we can before any problems come into play. Our daughters are sacred and we should handle them as such. But at eight years old? Now I sit here pondering how I’m going to introduce the “talk”…… SHIT! I guess I’ll do what I did with the oldest and start off gradually, nothing too abrupt…………the child is eight years old. I guess I’ll discuss the basics of how her body is changing……….DAMN, she’s only eight fucking years old. Is it something in the water? In the food?……WHAT?
And to think I have to go through this again with the youngest girl. By then I guess I’ll just committ myself into an asylum. That one’s gonna hit hard. TRUST! You think I’m panicking now…………you have no idea.
I have to say though, since they are growing and maturing into their own personalities, I can’t help but wonder what they’ll be like in six years. The baby will be thirteen, the middle will be fourteen, and *sigh* the oldest will be eighteen. Lord Have Mercy.
After counseling young girls, you would think that I could be able to handle the growth of my own. This is the time I wished I had my mother back, may she rest in peace cause damn if I don’t need some help on this one.
I need a Heineken……….or two……….or three………or…..you get the picture!
Did I mention the child is only eight?
I’m just gettin too old for this shit!
I guess I’ll just have to get three pistals and have each of the girl’s names engraved on the handle and what ever punk comes callin, I’ll politely ask who the hell he came to see and what ever name he gives……….that’s the damn gun he’s going to get his ass capped with.
Erica don’t forget your taser. You gotta have the taser.
And I think there’s something in the hormones of the chicken because my “lil sis” who, at the age of 15, had breasts that could rival Tiffany’s (aka New York). I swear I am not afraid to go regulate if need be. Not one bit afraid.
And girl you read my blog entry about the private school. I bet you a nickel that soon sex ed is gonna be taught in kindergarten. I kid you not.
Comment by Mel — November 27, 2007 @ 5:45 am
It’s the food for real, little children are going into puberty at a younger age than we did. Now imagine the effect of raging hormones in an 8 to 10 year old. If I was ever to have kids I would feed them nothing but organic food as expensive as that is. God I am getting a migrain just thinking about having a little girl.
I KNOW I WOULD KILL SOME ONE”S LITTLE BOY, BUMP THAT GROWN MEN TO!
“And girl you read my blog entry about the private school. I bet you a nickel that soon sex ed is gonna be taught in kindergarten. I kid you not.”
What else can you do?
Comment by Mike — November 27, 2007 @ 7:52 am
Girl, I’m rolling over here! Crackin up! Aww..poor thing! I’m sure you’ll do fine with the “talk”. Just keep your pistols ready! And keep Heinekens on standby…LOL
Comment by Kayla — November 27, 2007 @ 2:46 pm
Ok, even though I’m laughing my head off over here, I feel for you. I’m SO thankful I only have one girl.
Comment by The Goddess — November 27, 2007 @ 5:15 pm
I think it’s the food too. The growth hormones in chicken and milk products. Have you ever seen an organic or free range chicken. They’re tiny. They look like game hens compared to the huge chickens we see now. They pump them full of hormones that affect children.
You are ready. You don’t have your head buried in the sand. You know what you have to do. Bit by bit talk to them about honoring and respecting their new body and not letting any punk talk them into doing something against their best interests.
Comment by Miz JJ — November 27, 2007 @ 7:35 pm
Don’t stress Erica. They far from grown and you are even further from being old.
Now keeping the young men away … well yeah I see the problem :0)
Your post made me laugh out loud fo’ sure.
Ridwan
Comment by ridwan — November 28, 2007 @ 8:17 am
If I had a daughter I would definitely be “King Asshole” to any dude who comes a courtin’. The world is such a different place from when we were growing up.
Comment by Stephen Cosey \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ — November 28, 2007 @ 4:32 pm
Ahhh. Don’t feel bad For me it was 7. I had 36 inch hips at ten. My momma about died.
Comment by JJ — November 29, 2007 @ 2:27 am
ugh…is this what I have to look forward to in 3 years? Hmmph. I’m nervous. I need metamucil now!
Comment by Trent Jackson — November 29, 2007 @ 3:26 am
HUGS….I can’t even imagine. LOL
I have boys so I am gearing up to knock them in the head for being simple, catch them touching themselves and dealing with fast azz hoochie mamas. *sigh*
Comment by 1969 — November 29, 2007 @ 2:44 pm
Eh… I didn’t do so hot, but it’s over with now.
Comment by Mel — November 29, 2007 @ 4:01 pm
Lol @ you personally naming each gun. Don’t kill ‘em girl!! You’re gonna have all the little boys scared of you (Lol)
Comment by inga — November 29, 2007 @ 4:12 pm
Honestly, honey…it is somthing in the water…and our food in the U.S. the hormones darling. BUT, I guess I could understand your stress, but then again, I’m not a mother, so my view point is different. I started developing early to, the first time I had a man “look” at me (that I knew of) and I was uncomfortbale I was 12…still holding my mothers hand. I would say to just take it all in stride, my parents never really had “the talk” with us…not in anyway wewould notice it was “the talk” my mom would ask us question about what we hear in school and on tv and we’d talk about it, and laugh at things…but we always got the picture…so it was all gradual…now mt Father on the other hand, I didn’t get the talk until I was damn near 19…the same year I was forced to get my drivers license. N-E-WAY, I’m sorry you feel “out of sorts” about this, but it’ll all work out.
Comment by VV — November 29, 2007 @ 8:33 pm
Girl…just let me and my taser know and I will be there for backup Wonder Twins style.
WONDER TWINS! ACTIVATE! FORM OF…BIG AZZ DUDE WITH A STICK!
Comment by CreoleInDC — December 2, 2007 @ 8:48 pm