Paths Not Taken

South Carolina is a place of beauty and has the most friendliest people you would ever want to meet. I guess I’m a little biast being that I was born and raised here. It’s rich in history both good and bad, but it’s home and I wouldn’t change the experiences that I’ve had here. Of course racism is STILL alive and well here and THAT I will not deny. I was encouraged to interact and befriend people of all walks of life and not discriminate against anyone who was different than me. (thank you momma & daddy). I was tought to not limit myself to just one perspective. I was exposed to different cultures, music, etc. which taught me to think with an open mind and not pass judgment on others. The agency I work for is predominatly black and the people we serve are predominatly black. Now we do have clients from different races that need assistance and we service them because that’s what we do, if your in need we’re there to help regardless of who you are. Well, when at work I’m in my "professional mode" meaning that my demenour is strictly business, that is until I get a call from the bigot from hell! People say I sound "white" on the phone (whatever, I LOVE Julia Sugarbaker) so when I get openly angry racial phone calls from white clients who has a complaint I can’t help but turn into my Julia Sugarbaker mode and have a damn ball! Here’s how the conversation went:

Me:________________, how may I help you?

Angry Bigot: I need to talk to somebody about the girl in your _____________office!

Me: The girl sir? Is there a problem that I can help you with?

Angry Bigot: Is you the director of this thang?

Me: Why no sir I’m not, she’s out of the office, but please explain your situation and maybe I can help.

Angry Bigot: You sound like you one of us so I can talk to you.

*Now it’s on and poppin*  I’m in full Julia Sugarbaker mode now.

Me in full Southern drawl: Of course I am, tell me what happened.

Angry Bigot: Those niggers (no he didn’t) told me that they didn’t have any funds up there and I know they do. They being racial (yes he did say racial) I need my light bill paid and them niggers sit up there all day and don’t do nothin. They ought to take all them coloreds(yes he did say colored) and fire all their asses. I’m callin the head office in _________ and lettin them know what they doin, I know you understand because you have to work round them. I bet you the only white girl there ain’t you?

He just don’t know!!!

Me being the sarcastic shit that I am: Sir, I fully understand what your saying.

Angry Bigot: I knowd you would, yous a smart girl.

Me again, being the sarcastic shit that I am in complete southern drawl: Yes sir, I understand all too well what you’re saying but what YOU fail to understand is that it wouldn’t be in your best interest to file a complaint because our entire conversation is being monitored and I don’t think it would be in your favor to make a complaint based on racism. Not only have you made derogatory remarks against the employees here but you also held an entire conversation with a BLACK WOMAN, which by the way makes you the racist. Gosh, how are you going to explain that when you call the head office?

*crickets chirping*

Angry now turned humble bigot: Well, ma’am (notice it’s ma’am now) I just needed my bill paid and I was just angry, I’m so sorry.

Me: Well, the next time you feel the need to turn into Super Natzi, especially when you are in need of help and we niggers are the only people that could assist you, I’d be very careful with my choice of words and with whom I’m speaking because you never know!!

End of Conversation

I don’t deal with racism like this often, but when I do, It’s the most comical thing you would ever want to see. Partly because I don’t take bigots seriously, so instead of flying off the handle I choose to utilize my sarcasm skills to the point where they feel like the complete idiots that they are. I also know that maybe I shouldn’t have led this man to believe that I was white, but hell, after all of his nasty comments I just couldn’t help my damn self, I’m intitled to some fun at his expense too ain’t I????