Paths Not Taken

Dear Paris,

I’m so sorry about you going back to jail. I understand how you feel, you were only driving with an suspended liscense and under the influence……It’s not like you KILLED anyone!………..YET right? I mean, your Paris Hilton for God sakes. It was wrong for that Judge to bring you back to jail! I thought you were home scott free after fucking that Sheriff into letting you go.

It just seems as though everyone is picking on you for no good reason. Like look on the bright side…….like if you were like, a black or hispanic girl, you would have served far more time!!

Of course you can’t blame your parents for spoiling you the way they have. Giving you everything your hearts desire and you not giving back anything in return. It’s not thier fault is it? You looked so helpless when they had to put you into the police car just kickin and screaming crying for your mother. I, like you, thought it was all over the other day when you were released, I can’t understand why your plan didn’t work the way you wanted.

They don’t understand our kind of people. Celebrities like us get what we want when we want! We buy our way out of such stupid things like…..going to jail for endangering people’s lives because we choose to intoxicate ourselves with drugs and liquor.

I so hate to think of you going into that place, like, what are you going to do without a stylist? What will you wear? Don’t worry, I’ll call up Oscar to see if he could design the perfect organge outfit. At least you’ll look better than those other girls. Have you spoken to Kimora, Lindsey, Brittney, or Nicole? They can fill you in on what it’ll be like once you get there.

Oh, whatever you do…..be careful! I don’t think that those girls are too nice. I hear they don’t take kindly to "our kind" of people.  Who knows, you might beat this for the second time……I did! As a matter of fact, I got off for way more than what you did. I killed my wife and look at me…….free as a bird!

Just goes to show that as Celebrities….we can beat any damn thing!!!!!!

Yours Truly,

OJ Simpson

Boo Hoo Hoo!!!!!!!

Work is really kicking my ass right about now! Every summer we have a youth training program , we put six low-income high school students to work with different agencies and businesses in the area, while we pay them to work. Well, I’m left to run the program on my own now because my supervisor is on medical leave due to eye problems. The kids begin work ethics training next week, and after that they begin work on the sites I’ve chosen for them. I have to say that I am proud of myself for puting this whole program together on my own. I guess the biggest stresser right now is hoping that everything goes well. My director is really cool about the way things are being handled and has even complemented me on what I’ve done so far. I know I should’nt stress about this but it’s a chance for me to show my director what I have to offer when constructing such a important program. Wish me luck!!!

I’ve been thinking a lot about my mom lately. God I miss her!!!!! I was in the grocery store this afternoon and I saw this girl, she was about 16 or 17, her mom told her to do something and the girl told her mom that "she will do whatever whenever"!! Y’all I swear, It felt like fifty demons went through me! I just stood there while the mother just laughed it off (WHAT THE FUCK)!!

All I know, if that was one of my daughters, their asses would have been on the floor before they could even get the first sound out! All I could think of (other than beating the shit out of her)was how lucky she was to still have her mother. I would give anything just to touch my mother one more time.

Little heffa better recognize before it’s too late.

Oh, did I mention how much i wanted to beat this girl’s ass?

Well, my month long break from school is ova beginning on Tuesday. I had to take a break last month because the classes that the school was offering, I had already taken and they were transfered from the other college I attended. I’m not complaining though, going to college has always been a dream of mine and so at the age of 33 im half way there. I’m anticipating on graduating by December. My major is Business Administration with a concetration in Management. Before my mother died, I promised her that I would go to college and get a degree. Eventhough she’s no longer here, I know she would be proud of me, and my dad will finally see his baby girl walk across that stage to get her degree. After that, I will get my Masters…..(Go me)!

The one person that encouraged me to do this in the first place is my best friend. She’s one of the most intelligent people that I know. She has a Masters in Education and is a great teacher. I’m so glad to have her as a friend.

It’s hard going to school, married, and have children at the same time……..but once I receive that degree, it will all be worth the blood, sweat, and tears. Just goes to show that your never too old to learn (not that 33 is old, but you know what I mean). I want to show my little girls that they can do anything that they set their minds to and that college is NOT an option…..either you go, or you got to get the hell up out of here!!! One or the other!!!!

I try to tell my young female clients that they should go back to school, whether it’s to get their high school diploma or GED or even a degree in something, but it goes in one ear and out the other. Oh well, the choice is theirs.

Going back to school, married, and raising children is hard, but the rewards are great!!!!

This woman’s work is never done!!!!

LOVE AND A QUESTION

A stranger came to the door at eve,

And spoke the bridegroom fair.

He bore a green-white stick in his hand,

And, for all burden, care.

He asked with the eyes more than the lips

For a shelter for the night,

And he turned and looked at the road afar

Without a window light.

The bridegroom came forth into the porch

With, "Let us look at the sky,

And question what of the night to be,

Stranger, you and I."

The woodbine leaves littered the yard,

The woodbine berries were blue,

Autumn, yes, winter was in the wind;

"Stranger, I wish I knew."

Within, the bride in the dusk alone

Bent over the open fire,

Her face rose-red with the glowing coal

And the thought of the heart’s desire.

Yet saw but her within,

And wished her heart in a case of gold

And pinned with a silver pin.

The bridegromm thought it little to give

A dole of bread, a purse,

A heartfelt prayer for the poor of God,

Or for the rich a curse;

But whether or not a man was asked

To mar the love of two

By harboring woe in the bridal house,

The bridegroom wished he knew.

*This poem is from a collection of Robert Frost poems, who by the way is my FAVORITE poet….LOVES me some Robert Frost*

The weirdest thing just happened to me. The Glam Squad had choir practice this afternoon, so I’m sitting here in the house checking out some blogs, when this little guy (he’s about 16 or 17) came to the door and asked if he could use my phone to call his grandmother..he’s also on the church choir. Me being used to young teens through the work that I do said that it would be ok……Well, he called his grandmother, thanked me and left……….then he came back to the door and asked if he could use the phone again. Of course I said "sure". When he got off of the phone for the second time, he just stood there blushing (at this point I knew something was on his mind, so I asked him if he was ok and he started blusing all over again.

Youngun: Can I ask you a question?

Me: What is it?

Youngun: I’m scared, you might tell Mr. C!

Me: Boy, what do you need?

Youngun: Will you keep it between me and you?

Me: You better not be asking me anything about my damn daughter, she’s only 11……and I’ll have to CUT YOU!

Youngun: No mame, I’m scared.

Me: Aw hell, ok…….see ya lata!

He just stood there…..

Youngun: You’ll keep this between me and you?

Me: *ahuhhhh*

Youngun leaned into my ear and said………I LIKE YOU!

Me: What the Fuck!!!!! Boy, if you don’t get your ass out of my house I’ll cut you from your roota to yo little toota! Your ass is still recovering from similac withdrawl!

Youngun just walked out of the house and said nothing. I know that I was a little too rough but the way he just stood there kind of made me uneasy. I’ve been hearing stories lately about guys around his age coming into people’s houses and either robbing them or worst. Ya’ll don’t say that he didn’t know any better because the little wannabe "G" is old enough to know!!!!!!!

But I do know that he won’t be coming back here no time soon…..and No I did not mention it to the hubby because that Nigga is CRAZY!!! It doesn’t matter what age he is, if I did tell him he would have gone an fucked him up, child or not…..so this is between both me and God! (for the kid’s sake)!

Isn’t it funny how we tend to put others on pedistals to the point where they can do no wrong? We’ve all done it at one point in our lives. For me, the older I get the more I see people for who and what they really are. At this point in my life, I can smell bull shit from a mile away. See, you can’t bullshit a bullshiter pure and simple! Been there done that! There are things in my life that I’m not proud of and I’ve made major screw ups. That chapter of my life is closed, partly because I’ve learned to accept and love myself rather than be someone that I’m not.

At the age of 33, I live by the motto "Take Me Or Leave Me"! If someone comes off to me the wrong way or I get a sense of doubt about you or a situation, I disregard you with the quickness.

Case and Point: A few weeks ago, I had to flip the script on a co-worker who is one of those self-proclaimed holly rollin Jesus juice drinkin christians who at any given moment would want to engage in a mini bible minute with you because the "SPIRIT" told them to. Now, I don’t have a problem with people who are christians nor people who attend church every Sunday. I truly respect that, but when you try and convert me into that what you believe in, then we have a problem! For me, Christianity is something that I don’t play around with. I think being a christian is a gradual process and once your there, you’ll know it!

Anywho, back to this heffa, she came into my office and took it upon herself to let me know that she was up all night because the "SPIRIT" had a message for me and she was chosen to deliver it! (WHAT THE FUCK) Before she began to go all Tammy Faye Baker on me, I had to cut her off….quick! I didn’t minse any words, I told her that I didn’t know what type of "spirit" she’s been conversating with at all hours of the night, but from the the way she looked that day, that "spirit" was riding her ass like a mofo! Then I politely asked her if she somehow confused Mr. X disguised as that "spirit" that’s been riding her all night long. (Mr. X is the married relative of a fellow co-worker, she thinks her shit is on the DL……Shhhhhhhhh don’t tell nobody) Christian my ass!!!!

Needless to say the doors of that conversation was CLOSED! See, when you try to hold yourself up to be the perfect person, christian, whatever……you better be damn sure that whatever shit you got goin on the DL stays there because Karma is a Mutha Fucka! Trust me, been there done that!

Goodnight Kiddies!!!!